Sunday, February 20, 2011

Luxury and Gluttony: Part Deux

       Before I proceed to reveal Handsome Hector's culinary tastes, a full disclosure regarding his food behavior should be noted. Hector is a complex creature who has some behavioral issues around food. He has been diagnosed with pathological food obsession and, like any heroin addict, one must never get between him and his barbecued ribs or there will be hell to pay.
     Hector's daily cuisine puts his spa treatments to shame. On a typical day he has an average of two slaves cooking over the stove for him. One chef is responsible for the whole grains, legumes and vegetables, the other for meat and deserts. Beef stew, lamb shanks, sushi and forbidden wild rice are standard Hecki requests. His menu is infinite!  Making sure that I purchase the "right" foods, he insists on sitting in the shopping cart for a collaborative shopping endeavor. Hector is on a first name basis with most of the Whole Foods employees and has greatly contributed to the healthy price of their corporate stock. And yes, just in case you were wondering, his one bulbous eye-ball and draping tongue are out and ready for the taking each time we pass those free meat samplers at the hot deli case. A successful day for Handsome Hector is any day when begging, stealing, hoarding and manipulating for food works to his "flavor". Other than offering daily comic relief to the general population, gluttony seems to be his life purpose and true calling. Because of his abnormal food addiction, Hector has been known to mistake sheet rock for cake on many occasions. Even his stroller plates (yes, the flying bat commutes via pet stroller) read GLUTTONY. He simply can't be bothered with absurd concepts like portion control and body movement. If Hecki had it his way, institutions like Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig would be outlawed. And the only movement he's interested in is his daily bowl movements. 
Yes! I'd trade my looks in for his any day. Wouldn't you?

"Copyright 2008" Ghada Marta

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