A brutal training regimen was not what Handsome Hector had in mind when signing on for this year’s contest. Initially he was in it for the loot and fairground corn dogs, but after a realistic gut check he came to see that his bloated body was not up to par for the stiff competition. As much as he loathes exercise, he was now going to have to walk a full block to get his body streamlined and competition ready. It was a huge undertaking to convince Hector that he couldn’t do his exercises from his hammock. He’s all too familiar with the difficult and unpleasant task of losing weight for a weigh in, but I promised Hector that he would never have to set his ONE eye on a glass of protein powder during his intense conditioning, and this made him very happy! So, like all combat athletes do, Hector set a goal. That goal was to lose weight and build muscle by walking one block. During this hard-core training, enthusiastic spectators were shocked to see Hector out of his stroller and walking. Hydration belts, protein snacks (yard lizards) and sponge bath stations every few feet were all part of the effort to get Hector’s ugly ass back into shape for this year’s competition. Of course Hector disputed the unfavorable training conditions, but the promise of a fairground corn dog x 4 kept his motivation and endurance at peak levels.
Like all athletes Hecki also trains his mind for the competition. Every night he chants a mantra that would guarantee first prize…”The thousand dollars and corn dogs are mine!”, “The thousand dollars and corn dogs are mine!”.
May the ugliest dog win!
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